Why I am tired...

I'm ready to move out to my own room. Oh wait, technically I am in my own room. Then why am I not sleeping? Let me explain the nightly routine.
So not only do I have to get up to pee twice a night, but Berji has to cuddle with me. Not just snuggle in of course, but knead, then snuggle, then purr loudly in my ear, by which point in time I'm ready to change positions. I finally fall asleep. Then I have to go pee. Repeat the above.
Then Uc starts grooming. Not just licking, but the smacking slobbery type of grooming. I yell at her. I fall asleep. Then Berji starts scratching the carpet. I yell at her. Fall asleep. I hear Uc gnawing on something. Turns out it is either my underwear (yes, she is gross, weird and has destroyed more than one item of clothing), a box, or she is now pulling things out of the boxes under our bed and chewing on them (today it was a palm tree). I yell at her. I start falling asleep and Efendim starts scratching. Then Uc starts chewing again. Then they decide to play chase. I have to pee again. I finally get up... its hopeless. No wonder I want to take a nap everyday!

Now the simple solution would be to kick them all out. Oh... but have you ever tried to kick a dog out of your room? Not so easy. She will whine at the door. And scratch and whine. And bark. And the last time Efendim was left out the room he jumped up on the computer (downstairs), crashed it to the floor and bent the power cord all in a search for food. No, much as I hate it sometimes, I think it is better for us all to let the animals be in the room with me.