I am part of a yahoo group for Christian adoptive parents. It is such an encouraging group, both in the way the people uplift each other, and the amazing stories of walls (of bureaucracy and stupidity) being broken down to give a child a home.
This past weekend Dr. Daddy and I were applying for grants for the adoption. We had to tally up the total projected cost- I still don't want to think about the fairly realistic number we came up with. Let's just say, its equivalent to about a year of graduate school, out of state tuition, no TA or RA-ship. Yeah. Gulp! I heard the number and immediately felt my spirit crash. I felt overwhelmed. How on earth would we come up with the money? (This isn't exactly the best time to be asking for grants!)
The next day I was reading messages from the yahoo group. One of the ladies, in response to someone else, said something that super poked me. This is what she said:
We pray for Him to show us His path. When He has given us an answer, we just
know....there is no doubt. Ohhhh Satan will work on you afterwards...was it
from God?Are you REALLY sure? Maybe it was just you, what you wanted. If you
had that moment of clarity with God then trust that the Spirit that resides
inside you recognized it and don't let Satan try to make you doubt. He's worked
on me the same way...trying to make me doubt the answer that God has given.
Sometimes, if you haven't had that moment of clarity the answer is just...wait.
know....there is no doubt. Ohhhh Satan will work on you afterwards...was it
from God?Are you REALLY sure? Maybe it was just you, what you wanted. If you
had that moment of clarity with God then trust that the Spirit that resides
inside you recognized it and don't let Satan try to make you doubt. He's worked
on me the same way...trying to make me doubt the answer that God has given.
Sometimes, if you haven't had that moment of clarity the answer is just...wait.
It is hard for me to believe that we are spending (or will be soon) so much money when it is easier and cheaper to have a biological child. But God has pretty clearly shown us this is the route he wants us to take. It is so easy for Satan to use finances to make me doubt God's will. But then, God can easily use little reminders like someone posting on a yahoo group to affirm my trust in His will. I don't know where the money is coming from, but if this is what he wants, he will provide it.
2 comments:
That is very true about any step of obedient faith that we take. It is also why we need to make very sure that what we are planning to do is what God has asked us to do. Any direction from God will come with both subjective and objective confirmations. The subjective being inner promptings by the Holy Spirit, a sense of peace, etc. The objective by circumstantial "co-incidence", things falling into place that ordinarily would not, confirmation by other godly people who think you are suited for such a step, etc.
When the temptation to doubt comes, it is usually easiest to doubt the subjective things - "was it the taco I ate the night before?". That is why the objective confirmations are so encouraging - they are more tangible and harder to doubt.
With all that being said, once you know God has led you down a certain path, don't look back; don't allow the paralysis of doubt to creep in; put the pedal to the metal and let it roar, trusting God to take care of the hurdles along the way.
Exactly! and it is all the little "co-incidences" that push us ahead (with the adoption) even when constantly (legitimately) questioned how we are going to fund this, etc.
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