One Year

A year ago today we met our second child. We were pretty nervous about how the meeting would go, wondering what Adisu would be like and how he would react to leaving the foster home/orphanage and getting in a van with strangers. We ate breakfast and then waited for the van to come get us. There was another couple who were also getting their son that day. Finally the van came. We piled in and drove for about 15-20 minutes to the orphanage.

The gates opened and in the van pulled. Children everywhere. We looked for a child that would resemble the few pictures we had of Adisu. There were a lot of boys, all eager for attention. We looked past them. And standing there, off to the side, looking at all the activity was a tiny little boy. Dr. Daddy and I looked at each other and nodded, yes, that must be him. With Eirena holding my hand, we approached him. I got down on my knees and introduced sister and brother. Eirena was instantly excited and held his hand. His face was void of emotion. The other family had met their son, changed him out of his orphanage clothes (they leave those behind for other children) and were carrying him around, smiling and talking.

I picked Adisu up and held him. He didn't seem to care at all. The nurse told me that he was sick but assured me that normally he was a happy, lively little boy. I carried him as I tried to look around the orphanage to see what his home had been like. Dr. Daddy was busy taking pictures of the children for their prospective families and distributing the treats we had brought for the remaining children. Adisu said nothing, did nothing the whole time. We got some pictures of Adisu with his caregivers. They tried to get him to smile for the camera. No luck.

When we got back to the guesthouse he followed us upstairs to our room. He was still clutching the lollipop we had given him, not eating it, just holding it in his hand. I helped him unwrap it and tried to convince him to eat it. He took a few licks but wasn't really interested in it. Dr. Daddy ran over to a pharmacy to get him some medicine. At lunch he just sat. He didn't want to eat. Didn't want to communicate. The other boy was chattering away, not that his parents could understand, and eating everything in sight. Adisu did none of this. He didn't want to play with the toys we got for him, didn't want to interact with us or Eirena or the guesthouse workers. We hoped that once the fever was gone he would perk up. For all the reading we did on the first few days of meeting your child, we expected rage or frenzied (stressed) activity or "honeymoon bonding" perhaps. But no one mentioned near catatonic shut down. It was two days before we saw a smile from him.

In truth, we have all come a very long way since that day one year ago. But it has been far from easy for any of us. In a perfect world, there would be no adoption. The fact that there is adoption points to the brokenness of our world. You're taking a very broken child and trying to help make him whole, all the while realizing your own fallibleness. We have come a long way. We still have so far to go.