Communication... a desire to be known?

I'm havin' a thought: our desire to communicate reflects a desire for intimacy/love/to be known.

I base this "profound" thought on two characters in my life, Boy 1 and Boy 2.

Let me start with Boy 2... he doesn't really speak identifiable words (other than 'jet ski', 'ball' and 'down'). But he certainly communicates what he wants. Today he wanted to play with train tracks. He called me to him, charged down the hallway purposefully, went to the bin of train tracks, vocalizing the whole time. I didn't entirely understand what he wanted initially, but as he continued his chatter and acting out what he wanted, it became clear that he wanted me to carry the trains out to the coffee table and there build him a track to with which to play. Later, his sister started removing toys from his possession. He made clear in no uncertain terms that he did not approve of this behavior. When he fell, he could only point to the injured body part but also came in for hugs. He wanted his world, his desires, to be known.

Boy 1 comes from another world. It is said frequently that children that experience deprivation early on (whether it be emotional or physical) only live to keep the primal needs alive. We don't entirely know what Boy 1 experienced early on, certainly deprivations, but the extent is unclear. But from the time we brought him into our lives, it was clear he wanted nothing to do with ours. It really is only from a place of security that we love and desire intimacy. He did not feel secure, he felt scared. All he wanted to do was protect himself, from feeling hunger, starvation, from feeling rejected or worthless. He did not want to communicate. AT. ALL. His form of self protection was shutting down, not letting anyone in. Even when there was a potential language barrier he did not attempt to communicate with gestures or vocalizations. He was silent. When he did gain the ability to communicate in his new language he often would only answer what he thought we wanted to hear, by obfuscating his response or by simply not answering at all. He was guarding his heart from being known, from having us truly know what pained him, frightened him, gave him pleasure, gave him confidence.

Boy 2 is not yet the age Boy 1 was when he entered our lives. If nothing else, it has made clear the bonding, the nurture, the confidence, the strength that is given out each day in normal parenting before the age of two. Painfully clear because when these things are absent the damage is so very great and the hurdles a small child must overcome are huge. Among them, the desire to reveal a little part of yourself each day. Become vulnerable to those closest to you, be known. Communicate.